PODCAST Episode 013

Published 10 December 2025

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[00:00:00] People pleasing, hides the actual advantage you have. You are here to give something that people don't know they want until they experience it as a culture creator or change maker. Your recognition comes when you turn up the volume on your specific, unique point of view. Holding back from fully leading from that point of view means you waste so much energy and compromise the impact that your work could be having.

Validation as a strategy might have worked before or maybe never did, but where you are going. It's about having the guts to go to new unvalidated places on your terms and bringing people with you. This is not a normal [00:01:00] career ladder, but that's exactly why you wanted it, and valorize is the skill to blaze that trail.

I'm Louisa Shaeri. Join me every week when I'll be talking about how to make the uniquely transformative point of view at the core of your boldest work viable. Visible and valorized.

So one of the places that a lack of belief shows up. When it comes to self-led work is over complexity in your offer. I'm using the word offer in the widest possible sense. Some of you are artists, some of you don't think of your work in terms of creating an offer. So think of it as like the thing that you are giving that people are receiving or experiencing.[00:02:00]

And the tendency to make that really complicated. And when you're showing up to a new level of your work, a new aspiration, a new ambition, there is a really important thing. That I have seen work, that I've experienced work, which is making sure that you have a structure for showing up to that new level so that you can get into a groove with it.

A rhythm with it. And showing up is then about just managing how you feel in that, but not having to make the decisions based on how you feel. Right? So. On a day, you might have less energy, you might feel less bold. You might be at a time if you experience cycles, hormonal cycles, when you are more reclusive, more interior, and if that's going to be [00:03:00] part of the decision making around showing up for.

The new level, it undermines your sense that, of that new level being possible, right? So you want a structure that can hold you and that isn't mood dependent, that can adapt, obviously, like this is not about being a machine, but something that is the, the, the simplest, most essential things that the new level asks of you and getting into a groove with that structure.

So I want to talk a little bit about the structuring of your work, the structuring of your offer. In the early days, I was consuming a lot of business books, business thinking, learning from different people, and. Coming across different ideas, including this idea of a minimum viable product or a minimum viable launch.

Minimum viable, right? Which is a logic that comes [00:04:00] from tech startups, Silicon Valley, and it's really about getting to income quickly and then building with consumer feedback with the assumption that you are building with untested hypotheses about what the market wants. I want to flip this because you are not about profit for shareholders, and if you are practicing valorize, you are also not about testing the market and figuring out what the market wants.

And this can be a bit of a head fuck, especially if you offer a service. 'cause you're like, oh no, but I'm serving people and I want to give them what they want. And so I want to flip this in a certain way. Instead of testing a hypothesis, testing a market, and then adapting to that instead of thinking about building by being responsive and reactive to what people are saying yes or no to.[00:05:00]

To instead valorize the actual thing that you want to be offering, which often contains your particular point of view, your unique skills, your insights. Who you are, what you're bringing to the world, and therefore has you feel seen in giving it. That is also the thing that you might not have fully experienced as valid or as something that people will see or will value or will appreciate, and therefore you aren't sure if it's viable.

And so instead of testing for the market to think of this as giving yourself the first proof or the first evidence that your belief system can adapt to, to say, oh, this is working. People value it. People want and value the thing [00:06:00] that I value. For example, being yourself, for example, using your voice, telling your truth.

For example, building communal structures or having a particular vision of future. For example, the paradigm shift that you. See with, but no one else seems to see with, there'll be things that you are bringing, that you actually truly, if you are being in integrity, most value that may not have had validation within the systems that you've been working in or living in.

We're educated in, and so this is about giving yourself the experience of what happens when you valorize that, when you commit to it, when you decide to show up to it. This is worthy of my attention, my energy, my care, my focus, and then experiencing someone else also valuing it. And [00:07:00] what is the simplest, fastest way to initiate that feedback loop?

So this is a different logic than minimum viable product than testing the market. Like it frustrates me why tech is so much about building these toys and then figuring out how and what people will use it for, and then, uh, adapting it to that. Like Chad, GPT. I call it Chad for short. Chad. OpenAI assumed that people would use it for copywriting, right?

When it's possibly the worst thing you could be doing is giving over your unique voice to this amalgamated, normed conglomerate of what most people think, or what the collection of disembodied word-based knowings conclude like, what are the patterns within that that are most common? So my point is we're not building for the sake of building and then.

Just [00:08:00] trying to build whatever people want or whatever will have people addicted or engaged. There are values that are more life sustaining, that can be sources of livelihood. If we start with those values as why we are building in the first place and why, therefore, you are also going to receive in the giving.

Okay, so. There's a piece of this minimum viable thing that I want to take, but it's a flip on the whole agenda of where that thinking comes from. And the piece I want to take is what is the essential system that you can create to start that feedback engine? And the feedback is not what does the market want?

The feedback is, other people value what I value if I really am valuing it. If I really am showing up to it. So we start with that. We decide what we valorize as worthy of giving to, of giving into the [00:09:00] world, and then creating the simplest, most essential system to experience a yes from the world. Not from the whole world, but from maybe just from the first person, right?

Getting the beginnings of the affirmation that yes, you are not deluded. Yes, this is possible. And not changing what you are offering if people aren't responding to it, but changing instead, your skill level in being able to reveal and give people the experience of why. Why might they want it? Why does this hold value?

Why should we care about this? Why is it important? And then when you've got that essential system, then you can start to build capacity for how much you're giving and how much you're receiving and building that unique thinking, the universe of it so that it starts [00:10:00] to have its own presence and you aren't constantly having to be the the driver of it.

But in the beginning. You are the driver of it. It's your energy. It's what you are bringing that is sustaining the thing. And so you want that to be sustainable and not something that's gonna burn you out. And the quickest way to experience that feedback that is gonna build that belief. So this is you looking for what is the essential, repeatable system for how I give and receive, but also how do I make what I'm creating, what I value.

Visible. Right? What's visible, what do I give and what do I receive? Those three things, when I'm working with people inside Flair House, there are three ways that this shows up, so I wanna talk about each one because I think it gives you context, but also gives people, I'm working with context for where they're at.

In this [00:11:00] question of finding what is the. Next levels essential, repeatable system. What is the guardrails, the structure that I'm giving myself that I can bring my energy to when I'm in this new, new level? Okay, so the first type of person who comes into Flare House and works with me is someone who's starting a brand new thing.

Brand new offer, brand new self-led business, or project or practice. Something that they're creating that they've not done before. And this person has the slowest external change, but the most massive internal change, and this is because those first tangible steps, right? Getting the first client, making the first offer, having the first show recording, the first podcast, telling people for the first time.

This has you going through so many changes at once in your [00:12:00] identity, in your skill, in the role that you see yourself inside of. And so the main work is really working to believe that you can, and this is where show up in your own actions really are the only evidence that you are having that you are. On track, right?

And that you are building belief with. And so for this person, the essential repeatable system is just having a way for taking those first actions. Sometimes that looks like having one simple, easy way for people to know about what they're doing, and if it's about creating an offer, having a way for people to pay them.

And having a way to deliver on what they have offered and creating the most essential, repeatable version of that, the minimum version. Often what happens in the beginning. Is what attracts you to embarking on this is the big impact, vision, the big like, this is what I wanna create, [00:13:00] this is what I get excited about.

Imagine that could be possible for me. This is the direction I'm pulled into. And there's a lot of dreaming. There's a lot of sizing up and thinking through and getting excited and trying on the new identity of someone who has created that. That's great. It works because you are stoking a fire in you that is going to fuel you for those earliest steps.

But what can happen is. Trying to go to that big vision straight away. Trying to go from zero to a hundred, and therefore trying to spin too many plates, learn too many skills at once, make too big a leap in their identity, their visibility, the number of things that they're trying to start and trying to establish Then unique.

Point of view and have it be known and have that be recognizable [00:14:00] from the beginning when they haven't got the experience and the evidence for other people to come on board. That unique point of view. And so it's really about scaling back to what is the simplest form of that that you can begin with that might not.

Indicate yet the big vision, but is the first phase that you need to set up in order to get there. For some people it can also look like trying to set up the full business, like setup shop from the beginning, have all the bells and whistles like website business cards that no one needs. Virtual assistant copying what people who are much more experienced or further along are doing and getting completely overwhelmed and, and not really getting anywhere because it's too big of a leap when what works is starting with one essential.

Repeatable structure or system that once it's [00:15:00] working, it really moves them substantially along in their self-belief, and then they build on that, iterate, mold it to their vision. But often it's just starting with one person saying yes and showing you that they value what you offer. That being so huge needs to be.

Acknowledged and so constraining down to what is the one set of actions that you can repeat that lead to that system, that essential system, um, being the first engine that you're setting up. There is so much that needs to be celebrated on that because it's so hard and so huge, and yet the actions don't seem like they should be that hard.

But it's because there's so much going on internally, emotionally that you're confronting and you are having to give so much of yourself to just set up that essential system. [00:16:00] And so. If you're there, be happy with yourself that you are attempting something new and doing what so many people don't do, which is actually acting on the dream.

The second kind of person that comes into Flair House is someone who's established, but maybe there's a side project and they're making it their main project, or it's going deeper and more committed into something that they've dabbled in or already already begun. But now it's go time, right? They have enough evidence, they have enough of a taste, and they're like, no, I want to take this seriously.

I want to actually valorize this thing and I want to make it the thing. And their experience, their journey is often very affirming and nourishing for the sense of self that they. Already experience themself as inside because it's really coming into their own truth, their own voice, and a high level of self-trust.

And often this is just about letting go of old thinking, old identity, and allowing themselves permission to actually be who they [00:17:00] already are. For their own mental models to catch up to who they're already being. And so that essential, repeatable system is much more about getting rid of what's not necessary, right?

Which is often the stuff we kind of collect and get into doing to prove things that no longer need to be proven. You can just let go and allow yourself the space and the self-trust to just beam the thing that you are about and really be about it. The third type of person who comes in has been doing self-led projects for a while and has been doing lots of different projects, experimenting, trying on tons of different offers, and often has been adapting to either what people have asked them for or doing what will impress their peers, what will give them kudos, but they have.

Come to a place where they're feeling like a jack of all [00:18:00] trades, master of none, like feeling the exhaustion of being spread too thin, always reinventing the wheel instead of building. The one thing that they want to be known for, the one fee level one offer, the one thing that they're gonna make work extremely well as a sustainable system that they can grow.

So this principle of constraining focus to what is the essential way that I create value. That I receive value, and I make that visible. Frees up so much headspace, so much energy to actually start being the best in the world at being yourself, at doing your specific thing. Being UNC copyable can't be copied.

And why that's valuable Because it's not being muddied by lots of shoulds or trying to do too much or complexity or [00:19:00] over adapting. It's deciding and valorizing. The thing you actually want to be doing and making only that work. This was advice I received early, early, early on, and I knew I would need to take heed of this as I like to reinvent things over and over and complicate everything, and so constraining the actual structure of my work.

The offer has meant that I've been able to experience what happens when you build. One thing really well, and then the creativity gets to happen inside of that structure. So it's not being applied to constantly recreating structures, but instead just being applied to what you're doing inside that structure.

How are you being visible? How are you delivering on what you are offering, and how are you receiving being more predictable, more sustainable? And something that you can then [00:20:00] trust and you are not in this feeling of feast and famine constantly. Right now, I'm designing what is going to be the essential, repeatable system for how I utilize social media as a layer of visibility.

It's so easy to scatter gun and try shit and look at what other people are doing. I also know that this cannot depend on my mood and my state and whether I am feeling in a good space. So this constraint is forcing me to ask, okay, what do I most want it to be? What is like the essential, repeatable.

System that allows this to be something that is an engine within what I'm doing. How is it going to feel right and good for me? How is it going to be most focused and concentrated [00:21:00] on the thing I'm valorizing on what I want to be known for, what vision I'm being dedicated to building? What is the thing that needs to stand out?

And knowing that I'm not gonna go from zero to a hundred, I'm not going to expect myself to start as a seed and go immediately into being a tree. I'm gonna start with two little leaves and prove to myself that that works for me for the value I'm creating for the work I'm building. Just start with that and then I can build the next phase.

If you've already got the tree, consider that in spring, the cherry blossom grows first. The flowers grow first before the leaves, giving to the bees first. Not trying to grow the leaves in the branches and the whole thing all at once. No flowers pollinated first, [00:22:00] and then grow the leaves to receive. There are phases.

When you do this, you have the affirmation that what you value is valued. You have something that is not using all of you, that is not exhaustive. You have something that you can begin to trust and build upon, and you can then begin to go deep in the actual work that you're doing. You can focus on that, right?

Because you've made the decisions, you've created the system. It's running, it's working, and. There is so much head space, so much capacity, so much energy that gets freed up when you take this approach,

especially if you're building something which you are core to it, right? What I'm building. I'm never going to sell this business. I'm never going to try and build myself [00:23:00] out of it. I like delivering. I like doing the work, and so it has to work for that. This is not something I'm going to scale into a corporate level of a business.

No, it's always going to be lean. It's always going to be me and. Therefore how I build it matters and means that one of the things I must value is my own energy and it being sustainable, it being something that honors the ways that I work best and honors the actual things I care about most, that I have energy for.

But also there's a patience. There's a self-discipline to not go running off. Always being in the, creating new things, but figuring out where does that creativity get to exist? And it has to be within a structure in a system that itself is working over and over, constraining down to what is [00:24:00] the one offer, what is the essential thing about what you're doing?

What is the thing you've most value? What is the thing you want to be known for, and how can that be something that is. Systemized, repeatable that is working as its own engine before you add the next thing.